I walked into my basement to find my son having gay sex. what should I do?
K dog asked:
I’m a pastor at a Catholic church and last night I came home to find my son having gay sex with another boy who attends my church. what is even worse is that my son was on the receiving end. I am against gays. They creep me out and my religion is completely against them. What should I do?
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June 3rd, 2009 at 3:30 am
Love unconditionally.
Religion is a lifestyle choice, being born gay is not.
June 6th, 2009 at 3:38 am
wow that must’ve been a shock!!! Ok so i’m a lesbian girl, and i totally know what your son is going through.. I’m sure he’s freaking out because you walked in on him and his biggest secret. He’s really scared of what you’ll think and that you won’t accept him. When my parents first found out, they were not very supportive and it was a really hard time for me. Even if you don’t think that being gay is acceptable, you have to understand that your son can’t help the way he feels about other people and i’m sure he is scared about not only the way his family will react, but also its a scary thing to go through. Realising that your gay is really a hard time because nobody wants to be different. So just try and be open minded and supportive. Even if it creeps you out, keep that to yourself because you can’t convince him not to be gay and your son really needs you to be understanding.
June 9th, 2009 at 11:33 am
decide which is more important your religion or your son
June 9th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Welll…
You son is your son, and you cannot change him,
So, apparently, your only option is to accept him.
I’m not trying to be rude, but i think you family (and your love for them) is more important than your religion…
What do you think is best?
You need to understand, this could be just a phase, or it could have just been an experiment.
Leave him alone to think about it..
Does he know you saw him?
Don’t try to condemn him, he is only a teenager. He isn’t sure what path his life will take.
And, i know this may be hard for you to realize, but he didn’t choose to be gay.
He, if he is, IS gay. (there’s nothing he can do, or even you)
Don’t send to to a psychologist, or some “de-orientation camp” or force him to read the bible.
Talk to him, see what he has to say, what he thinks about this.
Then take it from there.
Honestly, there is nothing wrong with being gay.,..
It’s not a disease, it’s not disgusting.
It’s just something that IS.
June 11th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Please love him and don’t in anyway condemn him. He might just be experimenting only ( it happens with some young people )
He is probably just as shocked / scared as you are to have been caught in the act. I would say give it some time and do nothing and pray that God will give you the wisdom to handle it in His loving way.
June 13th, 2009 at 8:42 am
oh grow up and stop being so seggregated you make me sick
June 15th, 2009 at 4:28 am
Just act like nothing happened. I’m sure they were both mortified.
Believe me, being gay is not a choice. I am desperately unhappy because I’m too ashamed by my sexuality to even go out and meet a gay companion. I live a lonely life.
Your son didn’t choose this… he is just dealing with the genes that he was given by his two parents. There is nothing you did wrong, nothing he did wrong.
I am not going to argue with you about the morality of homosexuality, but throughout human history homos have existed. From a scientific standpoint, homosexuality wouldn’t exist and be so relatively common unless there was some benefit to the society at large.
One theory is that in a hunter-gatherer group, resources were often scarce. If everyone had their own children, there would not be enough to go around. Homos didn’t have children of their own, and could work to help support the group.
I understand why you’re not thrilled that your son is gay. I’m not thrilled about being gay myself. But life is miserable enough – just try to make the most of it.
You of all people should know the answer to your question: love unconditionally. Especially with your own family.